Sorry, but you have no right to play the victim here. My sexual life started in 82, just as hiv was first being found in men in san francisco. You are implying that it is wrong that john doesn’t have shame for this particular incident of his past. And guess what? you should just embrace it, because no one would expect you to nail a brand new dance routine or stand up your first time surfing. In virginia, the state where brown was raised, the age of consent is 18, which means brown was a victim to someone else who was under the legal age of consenting herself.
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John, at first read i felt so sad for you, going through an experience like that at such a young age. From my human point-of-view.